I have this new app for my iPhone. It’s called ALTITUDE. It claims to be able, through some cross bearing references and the built in GPS in the phone, to give you a close approximation of your height above sea level. Obviously this is very important information. Just now, I am home and sitting at my desk and “we” are about 141 feet above sea level.

I feel, at least temporarily, safe from the possible tsunami that might roar in across the Gulf Of Maine. There is a creek about 150 yards from here that does occasionally overflow its banks and even threaten to engulf the bridge on our road. Luckily we have alternate routes to get out in case of flood danger. But just where I am now, there would have to be a national emergency type of flood to reach us. Regardless, I am 141 feet high and thanks to my new Altitude App I can know in a second my altitude and keep a sufficient elevation as much as possible throughout my day. Yet I do love to go down to Joe”s Oyster on the bay from time to time. Elevation – 2 feet. They say the Coast Guard keeps a watch on such rare events like tsunamis and would warn those of us gorging on oysters in time for us to get to high ground.

I am specially happy to be able to use this app to assure that I, in my many travels, can find and take the high road. For one thing the low road is quite crowded and dangerous these days, and becoming more so. People there are throwing bricks and threatening to mount an army of riflemen, and riflewomen in some kind of citizen’s extreme referendum in defense of liberty and they yell out inappropriate and ugly things all the time – I don’t know. It’s dangerous driving down there. These roads almost always run through places like Alabama, Tennessee, Texas and Washington DC. I think that’s odd, don’t you? Thankfully, I don’t usually need to go to those places.

Maybe if those folk had an altitude app on their phones they could find a higher road to travel and learn to use time-tested and effective methods of getting their points across – like discussion, debate and compromise – methods that seem to promote unity and safe travel on higher roads. The view is much better from there as well.

Meanwhile, I’ll be checking my altitude just to make sure. You never know. Yep. Still 141 feet! I hope that’s high enough.

1 Comment

  1. But if I take the low road i’ll be in Scotland afore ye…

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