For some reason lately I have been thinking about the possibility of being a member of a book club, or reading group. I recently read a blog by Katherine Bouton about belonging to a book club wth significant hearing loss. Like a moth drawn to the flame, I began to wonder if that would be a fun thing to do. It now occurs to me that this would be an excellent problem to take to a therapist.

What is immediately apparent is that I have never belonged to any kind of reading group. Why then now? The best answer I can come up with so far is some kind of chemical imbalance in my brain.

The first thing I did was to go find a list – there is always a list – of reading groups/meet-ups throughout the world and there are thousands. Literally thousands! There is a book club, meet-up, reading group to fit any interest, sexual orientation or personality disorder.

There are groups for women, men, LGBT, black lesbians and so on. There are a lot of meet-ups and groups that posed no restrictions regarding make-up. Should I choose to align with one of these groups I’d prefer more of a diverse rather than a mono-cultural experience. But, I already know what I am going to do. More exactly, I know what I am not going to do.

It was a good idea, but one fraught with built-in difficulties considering my problem with hearing in groups. I know what that’s all about: a longing for the normal experience. I can not help thinking that anyone experiencing any degree of any disability knows this feeling. You keep thinking you can do everything and at the same time knowing you must choose wisely or be constantly disappointed. It’s called being in charge. Not a bad place to be.